@shanethevein: Twitter is what happens when you take the red pill and the blue pill.
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@E_lok44: So I was coloring my few, grey hairs with a sharpie and Hubby walked in. He told me, I'm the reason for warning labels on small appliances.
@IndigoCheese: Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.
@Jacob_Swift16: Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride