@prttylttleditty: Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read.
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@UnFitz: If I see a dog in a hot car, I'm always troubled. Why don't I have a hot car like that? How much does that dog make per year?
@panmidwest: [First Date] ME: I prepared some questions to get to know you HER: Ok! ME: What's the capital of Honduras? HER: um… ME:[writing] bad at geo-
@SondraDeeMe: My dream of making Playboy gone, so my best bet is National Geographic photographing me naked, carrying water on my head.
@BareChesty: You know your driving really sucks when your GPS says "After 300 yards, stop and let me out"