@prttylttleditty: Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read.
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@KingsnorthAP: Prove you're not a robot by typing two words that sounds like they were doodled on a toilet cubicle by a schizophrenic
@thatUPSdude: Honey I'm home from Costco. "You didn't buy anything stupid this time?" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?
@NourHadidi: How to stop checking someone's Facebook page: 1. Delete your Facebook profile 2. Break your phone 3. Give away your laptop 4. Die