@bottlerocket: Twitter keeps throwing in "in case you missed it" on my timeline.... I've been on twitter for the last 16 hours, I didnt miss it.
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@TragicAllyHere: *trapped in a sinking car* I should call 911 *car fills with water* Ugh I hate phone calls *head barely above water* Can I just text them
@iscoff: [Guy on the Death Star who's really sick of hearing Vader's breathing but is too scared to say anything]: I'm going to put on some music
@better_off_dad: *phone rings Menacing voice: ‘Have you checked the children?’ Me: ‘Can you do it?’