@iGreenBabe: Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@amydillon: Funny how this Target cashier says "Merry Christmas" like she's not going to see me 50 more times between now & then.
@dumbbeezie: After 8 years of research and an obscene amount of funding, we have determined that bat shit is no crazier than any other shit
@EndhooS: [Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* "There has to be a better way"