@iGreenBabe: Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know.
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@ActuallyEmerson: Sometimes I answer your rhetorical questions because I think you are that stupid.
@kwirkyKerri: I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that.
@enigmaterics: I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside.
@davidgrossTV: When I tell you I butt-dialed you, I'm not saying it was an accident, I just want you to be impressed.