@C_A_Guardiola: Twitter mobile app is still showing stars not hearts so I'm going to stay on here like those violinists at the end of Titanic.
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@Almighty_Smoot: Saturday plans: -get abducted then hunted by a group of rich guys on a game reserve, then systematically take them out one by one. - laundry
@JohnFugelsang: If god didn't like sex, He wouldn't make us scream His name when it's really hot.
@vikkaroni: Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch.