@burntmybagel: Twitter: something to read when people are talking to you.
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@Tall_Yoda7: *struggling to get the peanut butter jar that I just closed open* "HOLY COW, I'M STRONGER THAN MYSELF"
@hazelmotes1: You literally misuse the word "literally" every time you say it. And I figuratively want to punch you in the face. Literally.
@CourtRundell: Dear dinosaur naming people, Parasaurolophus and Elasmosaurus could've been named Frank and Joe. Sincerely, The parents of small children
@Jason_Horton: People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it