@burntmybagel: Twitter: something to read when people are talking to you.
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@SciencePorn: The best thing about the Pluto image from NASA is the silhouette of Pluto the dog right on it.
@Just__J0: Teaching 19 to cook, clean, and do laundry so if he ever gets married his wife won't divorce him and make him my responsibility again.
@Fat_Jalbert: [cop car] Buzzfeed Guy: It's okay I work for Buzzfeed Cop: You robbed 10 banks Buzzfeed Guy: You wouldn't believe how much I got from #6!