@ShoutingGoddess: Twitter: The addiction that talks back.
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@joejwest: ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way
@WhatevaConc: If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news.
@KenJennings: If you ever want to be bummed all day, think about how Jordan's national carrier is called "Royal Jordanian Airways" instead of "Air Jordan"
@bombsydoll: me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?