@TravLeBlanc: Twitter: where 20-year standup comedy vets get out-funnyed by accountants, college kids, junkies, & unemployed single moms on a daily basis.
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@ValeeGrrl: NEWLYWED FRIEND: i just love him so much, i always want to be around him! ME: you haven't heard him eat cereal yet, have you
@neiltyson: I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine’s Day.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Just gave this idiot a thumbs up for cutting me off, and I think I might not understand road rage.
@murrman5: "the immaturity and the copying are my main issues" I say in a whiny voice as my wife storms out of the counsellors office