@ariscott: Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"
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@WildeThingy: [revenge plan] *invent miniaturisation machine. *shrink to tiny size. *crawl all over sleeping spider's face.
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: Can I have some more Easter candy? Me: After lunch 4yo: I want lunch right now. I'm starving!! Me: We just ate breakfast 4yo: Starving!
@coketruck76: Pal: That's an impressive stingray. How'd you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way.