@ariscott: Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"
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@StellaRtwot: 6 pack abs on a guy are nice but it probably means that he won't get drunk & rob a convenient store of cheese curls w/me at 3am, so no.
@MrsMikePatton: God, grant me serenity to accept that people are ignorant, courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile & wisdom to realize murder is illegal.
@slimmy_shady: Therapist: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree
@montgomaryrock: Give a man a six pack and he'll drink for a day. Give him a 24 pack and he'll drink for a day.