@ariscott: Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"
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@chrisdowning: Fact of the Day: Lyrics can be used in a court of law as evidence. That's how Billy Joel was acquitted of arson charges.
@CoopSoSarc: We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers.
@StarWarsProblms: Rey: Why do you hide behind a mask? Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.
@kiel_phillips: *Bee lands on flower covered in another flower's pollen* FLOWER: What's that? BEE: I can explain F: I don't want to hear your lies, Ian