@ariscott: Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Humans have 10,000 taste buds. Cats have 470 SON: So cats don't have much taste CAT [watching the emoji movie] haha this is hilarious
@iMikosnyc: Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway.
@BlindChow: DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*