@BeardSpice: "Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth
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@junejuly12: *eats Big Mac meal* *has two ice cream cones for dessert* *drives by gym* *wonders why new diet and fitness plan isn't working*
@tuckerflodman: [CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. "I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!
@funnybeachgirl: I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom.