@causticbob: Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
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@LlamaInaTux: Call me old fashioned but I believe marriage should be between one person who wants to watch tv and another person who wants to watch something different on tv
@SocialustGal13: My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet.
@dorkwing_duck: Fox Mulder, age 6: *looks under pillow* MOM! IT DISAPPEARED! Mom: the Tooth Fairy took it, dear Fox: you mean... the tooth is out there?
@TinaraMinus10: A handsome man came up to me today & said "Hi what's your name?" I said "You on Twitter?" He said "No" We're getting married on Monday!