@RatCasket: [two bros pacing back and forth and flexing to prove they arent gay after accidentally reaching for the xbox controller at the same time]
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@daemonic3: [gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] "It's negative" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative
@JohnLyonTweets: I'm sorry I lied, but in my defense, telling the truth would have had consequences and I hate those.
@roggyie: When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I just wanna to use my finger & write `"WASH ME"` on her face.
@weinerdog4life: One time my dad got mad at hulk hogan and yelled "YOURE WASTING SHIRTS" at the TV