@RatCasket: [two bros pacing back and forth and flexing to prove they arent gay after accidentally reaching for the xbox controller at the same time]
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@sofarrsogud: YOGA CLASS INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog *loud thud GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose.
@KalvinMacleod: GOD: for this to work, I need them to feel love CUPID: how about I shoot them through the heart with an arrow? GOD: ur starting to worry me
@MouthyMess: Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go "Oh, this is where I get off" then close my eyes & stick my hand in my pants.
@blade_funner: (me as a paramedic) *rubbing two cymbals together* Clear! *slams cymbals together* WAKE UP!