@RatCasket: [two bros pacing back and forth and flexing to prove they arent gay after accidentally reaching for the xbox controller at the same time]
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@_Water_Baby: Scary is handing your car keys to the same kid who unintentionally locked himself in the bathroom that morning.
@batkaren: JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)
@aardvarsk: my dad once said "do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way" then 2 mos later called me on my birthday at 6am
@brownbear952: Try and tell me about your cleanse and I will whip out my pocket bacon and eat it right in front of you.