@histwaddle: Two cans of Red Bull may give you x-ray vision, but five cans give you the ability to hear oxygen.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@behindyourback: If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway.
@chewlongkok_: Me: C'mon, baby. Just the tip? Her: No! Me: Awww, cmon! Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time.
@ElgatoEsmio: Her- um.. why are you wearing a Darth Vader mask? Me- you said lets do Yoda together H- I SAID YOGA YOU DOPE M- VERY WRONG I WAS