@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage
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@Cpt_Burnout: Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home.
@DillDoes: Dude the goverment isn't spying on you. You're not interesting *meanwhile in a secret base* "dont let him say that to you. You're amazing"
@Maxine12333: If you're feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.