@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage
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@Izianikapani: So if you eat what you like and don't exercise, eventually you get a motorised scooter. I'm really not seeing the down side here.
@SumukhComedy: Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?
@myles_morrison: People with profile pictures of their kids. Stop it. All I can think is, why are these toddlers trying to add me on facebook?
@P1ssed_K1d: AROMATHERAPY CONUNDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing? #retweet #grief