@vikkaroni: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took a nap until I finally heard a car coming."
@CulturedRuffian: Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'
@misfarber: *rearranges underwear drawer*
Neighbor: the party's downstairs. Please get out of my room
@GrowlyGrego: Here, have my marionette set.
"Cool. How much for it?"
Just take it
"For free? What's the catch?"
No strings attached.
"You son of a bit.."
@TumbIrHumor: that escalated quickly
@Donna_McCoy: Baby showers are fun until someone has too much champagne and starts a plastic knife fight over a corner piece of cake.
I need a ride home.