@vikkaroni: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took a nap until I finally heard a car coming."
@truegritrumble: Don’t have a nemesis? Make one. Key a stranger’s car. Start whistling in a theater. Sign up a coworker for mailing lists. Make life exciting
@LibelousLurker: My kids can't play at your house because they might begin to think laundry doesn't live on the couch.
@shariv67: "Well well well if it isn't the guy I'm stalking."
"Get out of my hamper."
@Cheeseboy22: My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.
@chuuew: "Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"
"Go on then"
"NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"
"Thanks, I've been practicing."