@gerryhallcomedy: Two years ago I became a proud father. My son is 6, but he was kinda lame those first four years.
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@StorybookBlonde: My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown.
@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.
@Chloestylo: When someone sneezes, I whisper, "Goes in tight.." It's actually German for "Bless you", but it sounds so naughty.
@TeaAndCopy: ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment? EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: Or you'll what?