@HeyZeus666: Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it’s time to dispose of the boss’s body, they all pretend to be working.
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@LeBearGirdle: Lawyer: so tell me, why was my client's mouth bleeding? Dentist: he doesn't floss Me: You hit me! D: [puts lips on mic] bc you don't floss
@Reverend_Scott: JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]
@MongooseMayhem: Date me? You can't afford the maintenance to keep me. Vodka, high heels, steak, shiny clothes, tonic, Victoria's Secret, and bail money.