@murrman5: [typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim
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@heymonroe: Fun Prank: 1.) Buy 35 coats 2.) Goto the movie theatre 3.) Put a coat on every chair in the row 4.) Relax
@TeaAndCopy: Me: Excuse me, where's the rowing boat equipment? Employee: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. Me: … Employee: … Me: Or you'll what?
@shkeeber: Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.
@GrowlyGrego: Here, have my marionette set. "Cool. How much for it?" Just take it "For free? What's the catch?" No strings attached. "You son of a bit.."