@murrman5: [typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim
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@stephenjmolloy: Chameleon wife: "Does my bum look big in this dress?" Chameleon husband: "What dress? Where are you?"
@DarthPutinKGB: Men who claim to only watch the #SuperBowl for the ads are the same ones who say they only read Playboy for the articles.