@murrman5: [typing autopsy report after lunch] weird, seems the killer spilled some coffee and part of a sandwich inside the victim
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@BoogTweets: Me: I have bad news about Bob. Friend: Bob from work or Bob that always fakes his own death? Me: *Drops shovel* Ut oh…
@sofarrsogud: CREATION OF THE WORLD DAY 1 ANGEL: I'm looking forward to watching this project evolve. *awkward silence GOD: We NEVER use that word here
@kumailn: Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience.