@VodkaThursday: U just HAD to be polite & hold the elevator for me. I could have had a nice, quiet ride alone. Instead, I had to be polite & talk about fall
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@spcycucumber: I've been eating this memory foam for weeks now and I can't even remember why I'm still eating memory foam
@ReeseButCallMeV: Boss: How come I don't see you doing any work? Me: Because you have no imagination!
@pleatedjeans: Instead of yelling "Hello?" when u think a murderer's in your home, say "Goodbye" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving