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@_davidlucas_: U U U U U U
An American's tile rack after a Scrabble game.
@yenniwhite: 50% of raising kids is begging them to use their words.
50% is begging them to be quiet.
@SqueakyFreckles: This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl.
@bamb00zld: Catfishing my ex... So you could say we're back together.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I forgot to bring my bags to the grocery store, people looked at me like I drove there on an aerosol can, then slit a baby seal's throat.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Beauty & the Beast 2 is just 90 minutes of Belle and the prince shopping for new furniture after it all turned back into people.