@smashbrown_: U2 just announced their world tour. Do I need to buy tickets or are they going to break into my house and start playing?
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@KBChicken75: "To each their own" Translation ~ one of us is right, and well... the other one is you.
@silvertongue37: My ex wife recently told me I run away from my problems. Apparently not far enough.
@iRowlf: I'm returning this head of lettuce. It tastes awful. "Sir, that's a loofah." Oh. I'm returning this loofah. Someone took a bite out of it.
@CroweJam: The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods.