@SamuelHlowe: Ugh! I always think of the best comebacks when I'm burying the body.
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@lilgapeach32: Who decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to put on a tampon box? "Manslaughter is illegal" would've been more relevant.
@ThisLocalHater: [Therapist’s office] Husband: She takes everything, literally T: What do you mean? *Me walking out the door w/ the floor lamp I'm stealing*