@SamuelHlowe: Ugh! I always think of the best comebacks when I'm burying the body.
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@comedyfish: If you give someone some Beethoven CDs for a gift and they don't like it, you can always take them Bach
@CarolinaSong: That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, "my shirt smells like you" & you misspell shirt
@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.