@TheSwanDon: Ugh I hate the bathroom at this mall. There's not a single urinal. Just a bunch of women screaming.
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@Chumpstring: Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It's all legal.
@NikkiGlaser: What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, "who emptied the dishwasher?!"