@TheSwanDon: Ugh I hate the bathroom at this mall. There's not a single urinal. Just a bunch of women screaming.
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@thatstings: *Submits synonymosaur as an alternate word for thesaurus *Waits for Nobel Peace Prize
@UncleDuke1969: Me: I have NO drafts! Wife: *opens window* Me: ... Wife: *opens door* Me: ... Wife: That better? Me: I should have married your sister.
@envydatropic: I hit my daily fruit intake yesterday by eating all the fruit garnishments in and on my drinks