@abrosenthal: "Ugh I sent so many drunk carrier pigeons last night" -medieval millennials
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@TankCesar: How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen? Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....
@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@AnOrangeSNES: *Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!