@abrosenthal: Ugh Starbucks spelled my name right again and now I have nothing to Instagram.
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@tastefactory: Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??
@JennyJohnsonHi5: How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?
@thatcarlygirl: "Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog
@TheBoydP: If candy bars can be called cereal bars to make them sound healthy then why can't alcohol be called cereal drink?