@NicCageMatch: Ugh why is my bag so heavy? *goes through bag* ok keys, wallet, book, sandwich, water, anvil, other sandwich, human baby, no I need all this
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@abhorrent_wife: Everybody's getting Oreos with their Christmas cards this year. Related: Don't eat cookies while you're licking envelopes.
@HaleyMDriscoll: My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat.
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: A Jedi, you will not be. Train Chewbacca, I will. Luke: But why? Yoda: Better piggyback rides, he gives.