@QwertyJones3: Uh, guys... I just heard from my doctor, and it's bad news. If you've retweeted me recently, you should really go get yourself checked out.
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@DomBorrett: Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector This tweet is brought to you by Tesco
@SortaBad: When my wife is out of town my sleeping position changes from 'balancing on edge of bed' to 'snow angel'
@hythemafia: To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine’s Day, you’ll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time.
@brunopieroni: I'm starting a Kickstarter to bring a lion from Africa and let it loose in a dentist's office.