@QwertyJones3: Uh, guys... I just heard from my doctor, and it's bad news. If you've retweeted me recently, you should really go get yourself checked out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mikescollins: "1990 called, they want their shirt back." "...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"
@ericsshadow: Doctor: How long have you been in pain? Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997
@MartaEffing: I laid my tired head down on my pillow & saw the most terrifying thing I could possibly imagine: My phone. On my dresser. Across the room.
@KevinFarzad: Remember when we spent an entire year learning cursive? That's why the other countries are winning.