@rysox80: Uh oh, happy facebook newlywed, your husband just created a twitter account.
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@EJGomez: [speed dating] *girl sits down* "hi im melan- QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE "wha- CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT
@Maui_Speaks: I can deal with many things. Intolerance. Hate. But if I can't find the right lid for the Tupperware in five minutes, some one will pay.
@DBrownpants: If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."