@wettbutt: uh oh we better all stand up for the old man in the dress who bangs a tiny hammer down or he might decide that we have to live in a cage
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@MarfSalvador: Cop: He's getting away! Quickly, cut him off! Criminal: Get outta my— Rookie: STOP TALKING
@_SingleBabyMama: "I don't have that many gray hairs. I'll just pluck them out." aaaaand....now I'm bald.
@blade_funner: [the invention of tennis] "I don't want this ball." "Well, I don't want it either."