@JediGigi: Um how poor are you to sell your own yard? For real. And like, nobody's going to buy it with tables full of junk all over it. Geez. Idiots.
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@GeriatricBeards: [Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?
@jonnysun: look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat
@the_rock_chic: Just walking down the "Gluten Free" aisle, secretly dropping boxes of Twinkies in everyone's carts.