@weismanjake: "Um, thanks?" -A woman who posed for a Picasso painting
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@kDuncanG: MAYBE PEACH JUST LIKES BOWSER A LOT AND WE'RE FOLLOWING A NARRATIVE OF MARIO THE DELUSIONAL HOMEWRECKER. *cops pull me from operating room*
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: Not all heroes eat crepes. HIM: It's "Not all heroes wear capes." ME: Oh, so do all heroes eat crepes? HIM: ME: Then shut up.
@Blarebare: The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the "happy ending".