@jake_lach: Umm Adele, have you tried texting?
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@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
@causticbob: Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
@gibbet: "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.