@Cpin42: Umm..I don’t want to be “that inmate,” but could you tell the chef that this needs more salt.
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@TheMichaelRock: If you hate yourself, just drink alcohol like an adult; there's no need to vote for Trump.
@Awesome_Todd: Never run with scissors. Unless... • You stole them • You're running a 400 meter scissor relay • You're being chased by giant paper dolls
@Tmoney68: They say there's no such thing as a free lunch, but I'm at Applebee's & have a dead mouse in my pocket that says otherwise.
@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!