@Cpin42: Umm..I don’t want to be “that inmate,” but could you tell the chef that this needs more salt.
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@silent_musings: My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
@NikiWithIssues: Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!
@WilliamAder: I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
@Reverend_Scott: Dog: WHAT IF I'M HERE ALONE FOREVER Dog 911: WHAT WILL U EAT Dog: probably eat the cat LOL Dog 911: LOL