@itchyturtle: Umm, your honour? In my defence, I think it was a pretty decent exposure.
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@VenisVal: Boss: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait? Boss: Today!
@Kelly_skeleton: Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her
@dafloydsta: ME: I’m going to stick my resolutions this year. MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not stick to his resolutions. In fact, he would break every single one of them. And then some.