@itchyturtle: Umm, your honour? In my defence, I think it was a pretty decent exposure.
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@onion_an: [on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup
@TylerComeOn: I parked in the "C" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof.
@ericsshadow: [helping a pretty girl change a flat tire] me struggling to loosen lug nuts: Who put these on... Superman? her: I did