@WilliamAder: Unable to stop their phones and washing machines from exploding, Samsung announced today they're changing their name to the ACME Corp.
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@sarah1mc: I should probably see someone about my mental health, like a drug dealer or bartender or something.
@RumAndReeses: Whew, good thing there's a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we'd be in real trouble.
@AimeeHelene1: The best people always leave this Earth too soon...so I'm pretty sure I'm destined for immortality.
@jergarl: I don't think peeing on a goose is the right answer.. But on the other hand.. I'm not sure it's the WRONG answer. -Drunk me at a zoo