@WilliamAder: Unable to stop their phones and washing machines from exploding, Samsung announced today they're changing their name to the ACME Corp.
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@TheWriteStuff2u: You said that if I went to visit at the hospital I should be sure to take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did.
@PYWL: I just saw a video of a snake that learned to open doors. I probably don't need to sleep anymore anyway.
@InternetHippo: [Martian welcoming party] We’re so excited to welcome our friends from Ear—ok it’s another robot car everybody. Why do they keep doing this