@bencoffeehall: Unappreciated diet tip: If you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it's important to start out really fat.
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@LeahsLounge: Her: Ok you hang up. Him: No, you hang up first. Her: No, you first. Him: No, you first. NSA: Both of you hang up.
@MsCassieDaniels: My white girl power is ability to never putting more than $20 worth of gas in at a time.
@Breadery: I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I'm teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.
@BuckyIsotope: BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*