@Browtweaten: Undercover cop at a beauty salon: I've been made, over
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@looktothepickle: [One week into body training] Me: GOD this is taking so long Trainer: how long were you expecting? Me: ...how long is Eye of the Tiger?
@tastefactory: "What're you in for?" "I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."