@Nikkeya08: Unfortunately Katy Perry, I couldn't fit in the skin tight jeans so instead of a teenage dream my husband gets Blair Witch.
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@funnybeachgirl: Just saw a Fiat & a Mini Cooper get into a head on collision. It was horrible... there was glitter everywhere.
@Eightinchgoat: When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It's done, but there's blood everywhere!"
@markydoodoo: The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet.
@thatdutchperson: Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters.