@AddledPixie: "Unhand me you cad!" I shriek, before turning disappointedly to see that I've only caught my shirt in the silverware drawer.
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@AimeeHelene1: The best call ever would be "Hey, it's me!", but from your dog... Because: 1. Aww your dog's calling you 2. Holy shit your dog can talk!!
@djdarrellripley: Me: Go to school! 9yr Old: It's Sunday. Me: Go to church! 9yr Old: I'm Jewish. Me: Convert!
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: I just feel like sometimes you take me for granted. MY CAT: I literally have no idea who you are.