@Underchilde: Unless it’s that scary chick from The Ring, I really don’t care who is in the restroom with me.
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@jazmasta: [speaking to an attractive lady] "How can a beautiful girl like you be single?!" "Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"
@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
@Ivsy01: Keep it mysterious, ladies... Him: See you next time. Me: Maybe. Him: Do you want your receipt?
@TMZ: Reckless driving, pot allegations and cop visits, Justin Bieber is a bad wig away from being the next Amanda Bynes.