@lilgapeach30: Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck.
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@mynameisntdave: People who carry their dogs around, You know they can walk, right? Theyre real good at it. It's like one of the top known things about dogs
@iwearaonesie: wife: Where's the food? [flashback to me waving at a dog and forgetting to stop at the second window to pick it up] me: Dammit
@squirrel74wkgn: Me (trying to impress my date): I'll have the garden fresh salad Drive-thru: Dressing? Me: Ummm, nope. Just sitting in my car