@feelmesucka: Unless you and your family were attacked by Bigfoot, then no, I don't want to see your camping pictures.
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@BlACk__ThRoaT: When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
@jasonroeder: Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That's what they want you to think," say, "No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."
@KenJennings: Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms.