@goodersuk74: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face open I really dont need to hear about your gym workout
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@Freudianscript: People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing.
@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@cambuslad: Wife just shouted to me to get my big chopper out .After the panic subsided, I realised she meant we were out of firewood for the stove.
@TheAlexNevil: Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to "sweep the leg". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it.