@penelope20mn: Unless you're a toddler heading towards traffic I'm not running after you.
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@mishakey: My kid's teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I'm like I do. I'm player 2.
@EJGomez: taylor swift: oh my god look at that face you look like my next mistake me [with mouth full of like way too many Doritos]: what
@NJPsychDoc: My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia