@MikeSchism: unlike drugs, twitter addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ch000ch: *hitler leans in close to the mic* and the next person to question me gets executioned *grammar nazi bites lip*
@I_am_Lukem: Get your hero name by doing something brave and seeing what the newspapers call you. I'm Local Man.
@causticbob: I hate it when people say "Oh, I'm a vegetarian except for fish". Yeah? And I'm a non-smoker except for cigarettes. #WorldVeganDay
@AmericanGent69: *security rushes to the department store fitting room to break up a fight but just finds me trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans.