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@SexySpainNights: *Unplugs your smart car to charge phone
@KalvinMacleod: ME: nice fanny pack u weirdo
KANGAROO: *puts phone in pouch, pulls out a knife*
ME: holy shit
@torrami: Our wifi is down and I had to fap using only my imagination like some kind of savage :(
@KelFocker: I'm not homophobic, I love my house!
@PetrickSara: Them: children are innocent and go to heaven
Me: so you're saying Hell is child free?
@TrueTorontoGirl: Cashier: Smile!
Me: Worry about your own face.