@SexySpainNights: *Unplugs your smart car to charge phone
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@Rob_Firm: Mannequin challenge but me just standing in the kitchen, in the dark, holding the ice cream container as my wife walks by unaware.
@kumailn: 7:55 pm: Pours Diet Coke over fries to prevent self from eating them. 8:03 pm: Eats soggy Diet Coke fries.
@Ohaiqtpie: On a poster in my math class "4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions" The sad thing is my first thought was "Oh good, I'm not alone!"
@thesulk: Next time you're on an elevator with a stranger say, "If the doors open and it's all zombies, let's team up."