@Chel__CLE: Until a pregnancy test commercial involves a chick hysterically crying & screaming MY LIFE IS OVER, it's not real life.
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@Momtoteens: If you don’t wear a body wallet to bed with all your cash in it, you aren’t really raising teens.
@The_MartiniGirl: The sampler tester at the liquor store told me to stop coming back every hour in a disguise.
@SgtButtCheeks: My 4yo son just asked what squirrels eat. I answered nuts. We laughed so hard, hugged, and gave each other a high 5. My boy.
@PaperWash: My cover letter is just a picture of me in a sleeveless turtleneck karate chopping the word 'unemployment'.