@o__0Dev: Until public restrooms have automatic doors, the automatic sinks, soap and paper towel dispenser will make no sense to me.
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@slimmy_shady: If E.T. is making your bicycle fly through the sky, why do you still have to pedal?
@bourgeoisalien: I feel pretty smart until I realize the wild ducks I’m surprised by on my neighbor’s lawn are metal lawn ornaments he’s had for 5 years.
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "How do u kno the deceased?" I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.
@ThisCantBRight: I don't condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room.