@SadPeruna: Until you show me in the corporate dress code where it says masks & capes aren't allowed, I must refuse to reveal my identity to the others.
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@llvvzz: Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
@hippieswordfish: *she leans in close* 'kyle, what's your wildest fantasy?' *i close my eyes and imagine opening a 10pc chicken nugget and finding 11 pieces*
@jenlaw_11: If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer
@jwoodham: "You have a date? With who?" [Sees a fishing boat] "Uh, her name is Net..." [Sees someone with a booger] "Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."