@AminaMarx: update: the light went out in my fridge so i had to eat everything so it wouldn't get scared
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@ssholeEric: Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
@BillMc7: *goes on Facebook AGAIN* *reads 100,000th idiotic post* *thinks other people are stupid*
@mayamanion: I've been listening to the official workout station on Pandora for 3 months and I'm still fat, I'm calling bullshit.
@Vodkantots: Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11.